They Say It’s Your Birthday
Dear That’s Life,
Birthday celebrations are very personal. People like to celebrate in their own way and some people prefer not to celebrate at all. My daughter, who recently turned ten, was astonished when I told her that I had not bought her a birthday crown, assuming that because she had reached the age of double digits, we were, therefore, way past crowns and tiaras. I was clearly mistaken. Not only did I purchase a crown to make amends, but I ended up buying a birthday sash as well, both of which she wore with pride when celebrating her big day in Times Square.
Birthday customs and traditions depend on the individual as well. A close friend of mine ‘davens’ over her birthday wish before she blows out the candles. Akin to the seriousness with which she takes the lighting of the Shabbat candles, her birthday wish can take up to a minute, as she thinks about and considers all those in her life who are special and about whom she cares for regularly. We make fun of her about it and have asked her if she wants more time, because we can all come back later. However, it is actually very sweet. Any chance someone has to think and daven for the ones they love is not an opportunity that should be missed or taken lightly.
There are those, of course, who celebrate their birthday but without revealing their age. As if aging was a crime or warranted the wearing of a scarlet letter ‘A,’ some do not want their age known, revealed or even asked. Others, like myself, wear our age with pride. Go right ahead and ask me – I’ll be glad to tell you how young I am.
Spending my friend’s birthday with her, I was in charge of picking up the cake. As I was on line at the store with birthday cakes in tow, there was an older woman right ahead of me who commented on the not one, but two cakes I was purchasing for the celebration. This year, I joked to myself, we were holding two days.
“Looks like you’re having a party,” she said to me. “Yes,” I replied, adding, “My friend turned 36 today and I am in charge of the cake.” She smiled. “Well,” she said, “it is also my birthday today, but I am not turning 36.” I laughed. “Happy birthday,” I said to her. “One of these cakes is for you!” I continued. “I knew you would be here and so I got you a cake – that’s how good I am.” She laughed and thanked me for thinking of her.
Potentially violating a cardinal rule of women, the lady behind the register boldly asked the older woman just how old she had turned today. Without hesitation, she said, “I am 82 today,” motioning to me and adding, “more than twice her friend.” The woman then received a bunch of birthday wishes. “G-d bless you,” said the lady behind the register. “You look wonderful for 82,” she said to the birthday ‘girl.’ “Thank you,” the woman answered, only to add, “but just so you know, to my family, I am still turning 49.”
MLW
