I’m Wanted: Dead or Alive

Posted by mwallach on February 25, 2011 in New To You, New Yorkers |

Dear That’s Life,

I do not have a creative, interesting or witty way to introduce this post. Frankly, I am a little speechless. A night with Bon Jovi can do that to you.

No, I was not alone with the entire band. It was not an intimate evening with Bon Jovi, unless you consider spending three hours with 20,000 or so of your nearest and dearest New Yorkers to be cozy. It is moments like these, however, that does make New York feel like a small town. How lucky to be able to slip into a crowd and be completely anonymous? I would not know. We were spotted, and outted, when a former student came running toward us. So much for getting lost in the crowd.

The classic Jewish man disguise used at a moment when trying to go incognito is the ‘slacks, dress shirt and baseball cap’ look. Such was the gentleman who sat a couple of rows ahead of us. Don’t worry, buddy: the Jets hat looked completely natural with the suit pants, for sure. No red flag at all. And the three women wearing sheitels that you walked in with really helped make the disguise work. In the small world that is the New York Jewish community, I am surprised we did not actually speak and figure out how many people we knew in common, as I am sure there would have been quite a few.

Bon Jovi fans come in different shapes, sizes and ages. Sitting across the aisle from me was a boy who could have been no older than 7. He came prepared, or at least his parents did. He wore a t-shirt that read, “My mom went to a Bon Jovi concert and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.” He had plenty of material to keep him busy both before the concert began and during any songs which he did not know. The assortment of workbooks and notebooks looked like he had brought is homework with him, making sure to get it done before bedtime. I can only imagine how that note might have read: “Little Timmy could not finish his homework because he was too busy partying with Bon Jovi – rock on!” Not sure how that would have gone over.

When he knew the song, he was really into it. He danced in the aisle and sang every word, coming back to life though he should have been asleep hours before, droopy eyelids and all. He belted out “Dead or Alive” even louder than I did, which is saying a lot – take my word for it. And when a song came on which he was not familiar with, he took out his Nintendo DSi and played quietly until the song was over. It was adorable and he could not have been to a more ‘rated G’ event than a Bon Jovi concert. No inappropriate language, no skimpy outfits and no suggestive dancing. More importantly, no annoying purple dinosaur – that’s a check in the win category for children and parents alike. Plus, the ‘way over 60’ crowd that was seated in front of him got up and danced a little as well. Who knew this would be such a fun family event?

Fact is, I came home a little hoarse and the friend I went with lost her voice a little, too. It was her first time at the Garden and she got a real welcome. After waiting on the long line at the women’s bathroom, she finally entered a stall only to find that the toilet seat was left up. Welcome to MSG, I told her. We’re all family here.


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