Reality Bites

Posted by mwallach on May 16, 2011 in New To You |

Dear That’s Life,

Seriously: how lucky are those Palins? If only mom and daughter had their own reality shows, that would have been enough. If only Tina Fey’s incredible impression of Sarah existed, that, too, would have been enough. Now, however, with Bristol’s jaw reconstructed, she is also a dead ringer for Snooki. Talk about dumb luck! To think the Palins almost made it into the White House. Wouldn’t that have been a reality show from hell? I bet all of the Palins would have been able to see Russia from their D.C. windows.

People say that everyone has a twin. Tina Fey is getting plenty of mileage out of her natural resemblance to Mama Grizzley and even more high-fives as a Palin impressionist, often making a better impression than the original. Comedians and sketch writers pray for material this good, and Mrs. Palin seems to be unable to stop her own insanity. As for me, I have not been mistaken for Rachel Maddow in a while. It almost seems that as her show gained popularity, she looked less and less like me. I guess I do not look as good as a person enjoying the success of a national cable news program. Whatever that person is supposed to look like, I am not it. I am sure even fewer people have been telling her lately just how much she looks like me. I am not enjoying the success of my own cable news show so right there, Ms. Maddow and I could not look alike. I am sure it is also because we do not run in the same circles, no one in her inner world knows me, and as a mom of six, I am often just running in circles that she has not been asked recently, “Are you Miriam L. Wallach?”

That’s what some days are like – dragging your tail, finishing something you had to do but not finishing it gracefully or simply falling asleep at your desk. It is 10:00pm as I sit down to write this post, thinking that I can type with my eyes closed. Or that I am not really going to fall asleep on the keyboard, because I am. I then wake to see the gibberish I have typed in my slumber that needs to be undone, as well as the mess in my kitchen that will not clean itself. I know: you’ve been there, too.

I have been told more than once that we should have our own reality television show, although I cannot imagine who in his right mind would watch. We would be more akin to a train wreck – you want to turn away and you can’t, but you don’t know why. While my husband and I often banter back and forth like sitcom characters, there is simply not enough room in this house for those of us who live here, let alone a camera crew. Would they live in my basement? And which part of my life is so funny that it will make for great TV? Maybe it was this afternoon when my 4 year old daughter asked me how old I was, only to respond, “WOW – that is SO close to being 100” when I told her my exact age. Or maybe it’s that my baby’s new word is “No,” and that I used to sing her a song called “My Mommy Loves Me ‘Cuz I Don’t Talk Back,” which seems to be a thing of the past. It could be when I asked my son if he knew I loved him, to which he responded in an annoyed tone of voice, “YES! You tell me all the time and I heard you already!”

Okay – maybe we can be a bit entertaining. If nothing else, you can watch as I fall asleep at the computer and because you can see it happening to you, it will make you laugh. Unlike watching the Palins, however, you’ll be laughing with me.


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