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Cuts Like a Knife

Posted by mwallach on August 2, 2011 in Crazy Follows Me Everywhere, New To You

Dear That’s Life, Is it so terrible that I look forward to the Nine Days every year with excitement and glee? Is it wrong when I joke that the Nine Days are my most wonderful days of the year? Sad but true, it has nothing to do with not being able to do laundry – [...]

 
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Sunny-side up or Scrambled – I’m Taking Orders

Posted by mwallach on July 24, 2011 in New To You, New Yorkers

Dear That’s Life, Although it is probably not good for business, I have often said I am my own best audience. Some may think my giggling on the air is nervous laughter, but it’s not. Pathetic as it may be, I crack myself up. I do certain things to amuse myself, knowing that even if [...]

 
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Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow

Posted by mwallach on July 24, 2011 in New To You, New Yorkers

Dear That’s Life, Has anyone else been praying for snow? I am not one of those people who complains when a foot of white, powdery goodness falls from the sky and is dumped on my front lawn. Trying to determine why people love summer is therefore a mystery. I can’t take off my skin in [...]

 
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Tradition, Tradition!

Posted by mwallach on July 20, 2011 in My Kids, New To You

Dear That’s Life, At the end of what felt like an interminable fast day (how’s THAT for a contradiction in terms), it seems a bit staged that I have poured my coffee into my beloved “It’s All Good” coffee mug. There’s something insanely ironic about my choice, though it may have come down to simply [...]

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Not The Craziest Person on the Subway

Posted by mwallach on July 19, 2011 in New To You, New Yorkers

Dear That’s Life, New Yorkers are used to the strange and unusual. Whether on the subway or on the street, there is something always going on, all of which infrequently registers with onlookers as out of the ordinary. That is part of what we’re is all about. Having recently completed a 5 mile charity run [...]

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Renewed

Posted by mwallach on July 14, 2011 in New To You

Dear That’s Life, The momentary inability to find the right words with which to express myself is an unnerving feeling for someone like me. Having already invoked my former graduate school advisor’s sage advice to “type, then delete,” I wonder how many times I can stop and start the same piece. To date, this is [...]

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When There Are No Words

Posted by mwallach on July 13, 2011 in New To You, New Yorkers

Dear That’s Life, I am not in the habit of checking Facebook before I brush my teeth, but something made me do it this morning. Within moments, I was alerted to the horrific news from Brooklyn, the realization of any parent’s worst nightmare. I would like to think that this tragedy, this unspeakable crime, is [...]

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Time Stands Still

Posted by mwallach on July 12, 2011 in My Kids, New To You

Dear That’s Life, For the first time in almost six years, my husband and I went on a vacation without our children. I wondered if I would feel badly about not taking them with us or if I would have trouble walking out the door, JFK my destination. Would I have to fight back tears [...]

 
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Please Silence Your Child

Posted by mwallach on July 6, 2011 in My Kids, New To You

Dear That’s Life, I have played the role of ‘parent on plane with screaming child’ way too many times. Ear infections, temper tantrums, or simply suffering from exhaustion, almost anything can set off one of my children on a crowded flight. On an empty flight they’re great, nary a peep be heard from any of [...]

 
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Trending Now: Bad Parent Sightings

Posted by mwallach on June 28, 2011 in New To You, Tribe Members

Dear That’s Life, Trust me when I tell you I have never said anything that remotely important which resulted in numerous rocket-fire comments as did a comment I posted on Facebook. It is not that I wrote something so off-color, inappropriate or outrageous which would warrant a public flogging. In fact, and thank G-d, the flogging [...]

 
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Owen and Larry, Thanks for Coming

Posted by mwallach on June 27, 2011 in Crazy Follows Me Everywhere, New To You

Dear That’s Life, For better or for worse, throughout my life, I have been able to talk my way into and out of various situations. Whether a speeding ticket or a free dessert, often the people I may be with at that particular moment wish I would just remain silent.  Oh well, if wishing only [...]

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Is There a Doctor on Board?

Posted by mwallach on June 22, 2011 in Crazy Follows Me Everywhere, New To You

Dear That’s Life, It should not be that hard to get on a plane and have a quiet, uneventful flight. People do it all the time. And if it is not at all that difficult, why can’t that happen to me?  That’s because crazy follows me everywhere – even 40,000 feet into the air. Hatzolah [...]

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Crazy Even Follows Me to LAX

Posted by mwallach on June 20, 2011 in Crazy Follows Me Everywhere, New To You

Dear That’s Life, Having a big mouth has its pluses and its minuses. I don’t mean ‘big mouth’ as in ‘incapable of keeping a secret,’ because after carrying twins full term and not telling my family nor community, I have clearly proven otherwise. Rather, it is the ‘gift of gab’, being able to talk myself [...]

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First Time, Long Time

Posted by mwallach on June 15, 2011 in Crazy Follows Me Everywhere, New To You

Dear That’s Life, No: I did not fall off the face of the earth. No: I did not forget that I have a blog which needs to be updated regularly. No: Life has not been boring, leaving without anything to share. Yes: My hard drive crashed, I lost all of my data and have been [...]

 
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Thanks for Calling. Buh Bye.

Posted by mwallach on June 5, 2011 in New To You

Dear That’s Life, For a short time while I was in college, I had a job making cold calls for a real estate broker. My job was to go through his stack of index cards, incomplete with only a name and number, and offer an alternative location for his/her business. It was thankless, boring and often [...]

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Nothin’ But Net

Posted by mwallach on June 1, 2011 in My Kids, New To You

Dear That’s Life, While we were not amidst the sea of ’Hangover 2’ viewers last weekend, my son was one of the reasons ‘Kung Fu Panda 2’ did so well, seeing it twice in three days. A group of boys went on Friday after school in honor of someone’s birthday, accounting for his first viewing. The [...]

 
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Not the Craziest Thing About Me

Posted by mwallach on May 26, 2011 in Crazy Follows Me Everywhere, New To You

Dear That’s Life, A small but elite group of courageous individuals have been amassing data and working tirelessly on a list that, while not top secret, is not yet open to the public. The individuals toiling over this work have an inside track into the mysterious workings of a mysterious mind. While many do not [...]

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I Want to be Forever Young

Posted by mwallach on May 22, 2011 in My Kids, New To You

Dear That’s Life, This may sound completely crazy, even for me, but I often forget that I have twins. Having one boy and one girl, with completely different personalities and no shared resemblances, it often slips my mind that they came as a package deal. We have also always made an effort not to refer to [...]

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Reality Bites

Posted by mwallach on May 16, 2011 in New To You

Dear That’s Life, Seriously: how lucky are those Palins? If only mom and daughter had their own reality shows, that would have been enough. If only Tina Fey’s incredible impression of Sarah existed, that, too, would have been enough. Now, however, with Bristol’s jaw reconstructed, she is also a dead ringer for Snooki. Talk about [...]

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Tooth Pain Stinks

Posted by mwallach on May 11, 2011 in New To You

Dear That’s Life, There is no need to read this entire article. The moral of the story is that tooth pain does not go away. Sorry for the spoiler. A little over a week before Pesach, I began experiencing pain in a tooth that already had a crown from a previous root canal. The pain [...]

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